Monday Night EFM

When We Emerge, With All Our Choosing Done .....

nobody@vox.com(dreaminginthedeepsouth) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 21:24:15 -0700

New.Mexico.sundown

[New Mexico from my flickr photostream]

***

Consider this from Thomas Merton:

"There must be a time of day when the man who
makes plans forgets his plans,
and acts as if he had no plans at all.

There must be a time of day when the man who has
to speak falls very silent.
And his mind forms no more propositions,
and he asks himself:
Did they have a meaning?

There must be a time
When the man of prayer goes to pray
as if it were the first time in his life
he had ever prayed,
when the man of resolutions puts his
resolutions aside
as if they had all been broken,
and he learns a different wisdom:

distinguishing the sun from the moon,
the stars from the darkness,
the sea from the dry land,
and the night sky from the shoulder of a hill.

*
"Man is a thinking reed but his great works are done when he is not calculating and thinking. Childlikeness has to be restored with long years of training in the art of self-forgetfulness. When this is attained, man thinks yet he does not think. He thinks like the showers coming down from the sky; he thinks like the waves rolling on the ocean; he thinks like the stars illuminating the nightly heavens; he thinks like the green foliage shooting forth in the relaxing spring breeze. Indeed, he is the showers, the ocean, the stars, the foliage. When a man reaches this stage of spiritual development, he is a Zen artist of life."

- D. T. Suzuki

*****
"There is tremendous power in unearthing, in recognizing distracted, scattered mind, the mind which would rather be anywhere but here, and spending some time there, with that mind. Rather than being an anonymous voice from the dark bossing you around, scattered mind is someone you can sit down and hang out with."

- Jusan Ed Brown

*
Wheresoever you turn, there is the face of God."

~ Quran, II.115

*
"In youth we believe what the young believe, that life is all choice. We stand before a hundred doors, choose to enter one, where we're faced with a hundred more and then choose again. We choose not just what we'll do, but who we'll be. Perhaps the sound of all those doors swinging
shut behind us each time we select this one or that one should trouble us, but it doesn't. Nor does the fact that the doors often are identical and even lead in some cases to the exact same place. Occasionally a door is locked, but no matter, since so many others remain available. The distinct possibility that choice itself may be an illusion is something we disregard, because we're curious to know what's behind that next door, the one we hope will lead us to the very heart of the mystery. Even in the face of mounting evidence to the contrary we remain confident that when we emerge, with all our choosing done, we'll have found not just our true destination but also its meaning."

from Bridge of Sighs
by Richard Russo

*
"When Moses conversed with God, he asked, "Lord where shall I seek you?"

God answered, "Among the brokenhearted."

Moses continued, "But, Lord, no heart could be more despairing than mine."

And God replied, "Then I am where you are."

-Abu'l Fayd Al-Misri

*
The 'guinea-pigging' of vast swathes of the population has, up till now, solved two problems: the 'time' problem (namely, how to avoid addressing the underlying reasons for mental health problems), and how to create new markets amidst the flourishing of generic drug production, particularly outside of the US and Europe. Clearly the interiorisation of unhappiness is far more profitable than the outward realisation that perhaps misery has nothing to do with you personally and everything to do with the world in which you live.

- infinite thØught

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The Lightening of This Cosmic Storm

nobody@vox.com(dreaminginthedeepsouth) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 21:10:20 -0700

Iran.green.river

Coverage and commentary of the Iran 'revolution' via
Andrew Sullivan at the Atlantic

The President's Statement
The Iranian government must understand that the world is watching. We mourn each and every innocent life that is lost. We call on the Iranian government to stop all violent and unjust actions against its own people. The universal rights to assembly and free speech must be respected, and the United States stands with all who seek to exercise those rights.
As I said in Cairo, suppressing ideas never succeeds in making them go away. The Iranian people will ultimately judge the actions of their own government. If the Iranian government seeks the respect of the international community, it must respect the dignity of its own people and govern through consent, not coercion.

Martin Luther King once said - "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." I believe that. The international community believes that. And right now, we are bearing witness to the Iranian peoples’ belief in that truth, and we will continue to bear witness.
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Tick Tock, Motherfuckers
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Quote For The Day
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It's On Now

The Jpost also got an e-mail from Iran:

Girls are extremely active in all these rallies (a little less in night riots where patches of young men are more visible). They courageously charge anti-riot police, chant slogans in front of them, lead the crowd, etc., but they are equally beaten too. The police seem to have no limit in the use of force. They are disproportionately violent. They don't use fire weapons, but they don't go easy on you with their clubs. They literally beat up protesters to death if they don't get rescued by fellow protesters or somehow break away and run. The level of brutality is exceptional, but it is amazing to see how people stand up to them. I heard from many witnesses that thugs were brought by bus from smaller cities to assist police in the crackdown...

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**

Mousavi's Latest Statement: "I Followed Them"

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Poem For The Day

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This photographic slideshow, with many pictures I haven't yet seen, is well worth your time.
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Confirming The Basij Murder Of Neda
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Poem For The Day II

A day of ominous decision has now dawned on this free nation. Save us
then from our obsessions! Open our eyes, dissipate our confusions,
teach us to understand ourselves and our adversary.
Let us never forget that sins against the law of love
are punishable by loss of faith, and those without faith
stop at no crime to achieve their ends!
Help us to be masters of the weapons that threaten to master us.
Help us to use our science for peace and plenty, not for war and destruction.
Save us from the compulsion to follow our adversaries in all that we most hate,
confirming them in their hatred and suspicion of us.

Resolve our inner contradictions,
which now grow beyond belief and beyond bearing.
They are at once a torment and a blessing:
for if you had not left us the light of conscience,
we would not have to endure them.

Teach us to wait and trust.

Grant light, grant strength and patience to all who work for peace.
But grant us above all to see that our ways are not necessarily your ways,
that we cannot fully penetrate the mystery of your designs
and that the very storm of power now raging on this earth
reveals your hidden will and your inscrutable decision.

Grant us to see your face in the lightning of this cosmic storm

- Thomas Merton, Prayer For Peace.
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*
The Women
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The Most Staggering Footage Yet
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[cross posted to Alive on All Channels]

***

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Stress and More stress

nobody@vox.com(dreaminginthedeepsouth) — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 09:11:38 -0700

Stress.yoga.chi

April 9, 2009

Recession Anxiety Seeps Into Everyday Lives

By PAM BELLUCK

Anne Hubbard has not lost her job, house or savings, and she and her husband have always been conservative with money.

But a few months ago, Ms. Hubbard, a graphic designer in Cambridge, Mass., began having panic attacks over the economy, struggling to breathe and seeing vivid visions of “losing everything,” she said.

She “could not stop reading every single economic report,” was so “sick to my stomach I lost 12 pounds” and “was unable to function,” said Ms. Hubbard, 52, who began, for the first time, taking psychiatric medication and getting therapy.

In Miami, Victoria Villalba, 44, routinely slept eight hours a night until stories of desperate clients flooding the employment service she runs began jolting her awake at 2 a.m. No longer sleepy, she first began to respond to e-mail, but that caused sleeping colleagues’ BlackBerrys to wake them, so now she studies business books and meticulously organizes her closets.

“I’m embarrassed,” she said. “Normal people aren’t doing this.”

With economic damage expected to last months or years, such reactions are becoming common, experts say. Anxiety, depression and stress are troubling people everywhere, many not suffering significant economic losses, but worrying they will or simply reacting to pervasive uncertainty.

Some are seeking counseling or medication for the first time. Others are resuming or increasing treatment, or redirecting therapy for other issues onto economic anxiety.

“The economy and fear of what’s going to happen is having a huge effect,” said Sarah Bullard Steck, a Washington therapist who also directs the employee assistance program at the Commerce Department. “People are coming in more” with “severe anxiety” or “more marital strife, some domestic violence, some substance abuse.”

Alan A. Axelson, a Pittsburgh psychiatrist, said he was seeing first-time patients and infrequent ones experiencing “relapse and needing more therapy and medication” even though, he said, “Pittsburgh’s actually doing pretty good economically.”

It is early to measure the recession’s consequences, but surveys suggest a growing impact. In an American Psychological Association poll in September, 80 percent reported the economy’s causing significant stress, up from 66 percent last April. The National Sleep Foundation said 27 percent of people surveyed last fall had sleeplessness because of economic anxiety.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline calls jumped to 50,158 in January 2009 from 39,465 a month in January 2008, and economic stress more frequently “played a central role,” said Richard McKeon, the group’s federal project officer.

The Treasury, Labor and other departments started a Web site for people experiencing stress. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration is training counselors who usually assist people devastated by tornadoes and floods to now help people with what they “are going through with the economy,” said Dr. McKeon, an agency adviser.

And while a New York Times/CBS News poll found fewer people saying the economy had worsened, most did not think it was improving. People overwhelmingly thought the recession would last another year or more, and 70 percent were concerned that a household member would be jobless.

Anxiety is not just troubling those with much to lose, like older people and homeowners. Elizabeth Dewey-Vogt, 25, a paralegal whose bills and shrinking overtime made her move in with her parents in Alexandria, Va., said she began “constantly worrying about finances,” and having panic attacks, “rapid heart beat, choking sensation, chills or sweating, numbness and tingling in my fingers,” and feeling “almost removed from my body.”

Ms. Dewey-Vogt said that she now took anxiety medication, and that a therapist advised her to pull over or “concentrate on the license plate ahead” if she began panicking while driving and to grip on the handles of her chair when panicking at work.

Even children show signs.

Daniel A. Cohen, a Manhattan psychiatrist, said he saw “more families in crisis,” with children experiencing “increased signs of anxiety and depression” and more nightmares and acting out.

Joshua Batista, 16, of Queens, who was treated for depression and post-traumatic stress after a taxi accident, said he had “gotten more depressed and stressed” since “the recession and that stuff started.” In school, he said he experienced “a nervous breakdown where I was pulling out my hair, hitting my head.” Joshua, a singer-guitarist, said the economy limited his music purchases and earnings. Therapy and medication have increased. Asked to leave school, he will be taught at home. “He noticed it was happening at the same time as the economy,” said his mother, Elissa Levine.

Even for insured people, the economy both causes anxiety and makes help less affordable.

Susan Bandrowsky, 30, a photographer in Wilmington, Del., with bipolar disorder, said she felt strain because her husband, having lost a long-term consulting contract, worked short-term jobs requiring travel, unsettling their 4-year-old autistic son. Fearing the loss of insurance, Ms. Bandrowsky would like more therapy, but to save co-payments she spaces appointments, which, she said, “ups the anxiety.”

Many seeking help are fearful, not actually incurring economic difficulty, said Joseph Ojile, founder of Clayton Sleep Institute in St. Louis, where patients increased 25 percent since October.

Steven Craig, a psychologist in Birmingham, Mich., said “people of less means” were handling some of this better because “their identity is not as caught up in how much money they have.”

Many ask primary physicians for medication, not therapy referrals, because they fear that employers will consider them unstable or resent counseling during work hours, said Allen J. Dietrich, a family doctor in Lebanon, N.H. He said he broached the subject of emotional stress gently because many had come in with physical complaints like arthritis or headaches.

Still, a survey of employee assistance programs found a jump in stress-related requests. “The stress level has increased a lot,” said Suzanne Greenlee, human resources benefits director at Sodexo Inc., a food services company.

Even for Ms. Greenlee, who said she “realized how tense I was” after trying Sodexo’s stress-management coach. She e-mailed the coach, “Today I’m feeling totally overwhelmed.”

During therapy recently, Marcy Krust, 39, told Dr. Craig, “People say it’s going to be better, but I don’t feel that way yet.” A divorced mother and on-and-off patient, Ms. Krust said she had not needed therapy for months until, with layoffs affecting her technology firm’s clients and fellow hockey moms, she felt “out of control” and “started to forget things.” Now twice-monthly sessions focus on the economy. Dr. Craig advises writing down worries, and making decisions about controllable things, like vacations.

Scott Schuck, 43, a Minneapolis business owner who had consulted Dr. Craig only for career coaching, began twice-weekly phone sessions after stress started waking him and creating “a lot of anxiety” in his relationship with his girlfriend.

Ms. Villalba, wary of medication, started meditation classes, even meditating in her car outside her office.

Ms. Hubbard, knowing “financially we were fine,” said she believed “I shouldn’t feel like this, I’m lucky.” She cried visiting her primary doctor, who recommended therapy and medication, hard to accept, she said, because her Depression-era parents believed “you pull yourself up.”

“I felt like a neurotic middle-class, middle-aged woman too weak to deal with life on my own,” she said. “I should be stronger, it was simply money, and why do I have to take pills to not worry about money.”

But treatment and further organizing family finances helped. She said the weakening economy made her “fear that even if you do everything right, something bad can happen to you.”

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Stability

nobody@vox.com(dreaminginthedeepsouth) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 14:49:20 -0700

Shelley.art

Living In A See-Saw Has Ups And Downs
All Things Considered, March 27, 2009 · "Stability and Other Tenuous Positions" may sound like a dissertation on asset-backed debt obligations, but it's actually an art exhibit at The Lawrimore Project, an art gallery in Seattle.
The show's centerpiece, "Stability," features two beds, a kitchen and a bathroom, and it rocks from a single point — like a tiny house balancing on a see-saw. Its creators, Ward Shelley and Alex Schweder, have long made art that blends architecture, performance and visual arts. And to inaugurate their newest piece, the two artists decided to live inside it for a week.
"We've spent 24 hours a day in the structure," Schweder tells Robert Siegel. "And the amenity that we've enjoyed most has been the time that we've had. It's been very unstructured."
Life inside "Stability" is, predictably, quite unstable. Every movement one of them makes has an impact on the entire landscape. One person can visit the bathroom without the other moving, for example. "But then it inclines to about 30 degrees ... and you spill drinks and things like that," says Shelley.
Keeping their living space level requires teamwork, they say. Nighttime is the most difficult to negotiate: "That's the worst," says Schweder. "If someone gets up to do something, your REM falls away rather quickly. We dream pretty tersely."
Both artists say the experience has caused them to reflect on the dynamics of their own relationships.
"For me, it's been an absolute eye-opener in terms of cooperation and negotiation," says Schweder. "[We've] formed a relationship through this building, and its one that's become more complicated by this experience."
"Competition doesn't improve everything," echoes Shelley. "Cooperation makes a lot more sense in most situations."

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Spiritual Journey

nobody@vox.com(dreaminginthedeepsouth) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 11:54:40 -0800

Behind_the_curtain

A Spiritual Journey: A Small Group Lenten Resource

Looking for something slightly different for this year's Lenten Program? Then I may have just the thing for you:

A link to this study can also be found on the Episcopal Church website.

The format of this study follows the pattern of the Daily Devotion: In the Early Evening, found on p. 139 of the BCP.

Here is the introduction:

This Lenten study guide is intended to assist congregations and their leaders to deepen their walk with Christ. Participants are invited to view their lives as a spiritual journey. We do not travel alone, however. We are joined by companions along the way. As together we begin this journey, we are also assured that Christ is in our midst.
How do we encounter God, made known to us through Jesus Christ, in our day-to-day lives? How can we increase our awareness of God’s presence among us? Those are the primary questions we will attempt to address along the way. This resource will attempt to assist us in opening our eyes to even more ways that God is revealed to us.
One effective “eye-opener” for many people is the power of stories. Each of us has our own story to tell. For the purposes of this spiritual journey, we’ll be looking more closely at our own stories, specifically seeking out how we perceive God moving with us each step of the way. As we share personal stories of our spiritual journey, as we offer a witness to God’s presence among us, the ability for us all to glimpse God moving in our midst is greatly increased. Creating space for the sharing of these sacred stories is one of the purposes of this resource.
Having heard the stories of living witnesses, we may find ourselves open to new ways of hearing the testimonies of those who have gone before us when they speak of their encounters with the living God. As we engage Holy Scripture with the expectation of receiving divine revelation, those stories become alive and we find that they begin to merge with our own stories. We discover that we are surrounded by a great crowd of witnesses as the voices from the Bible join us on our journey. This resource will assist us in exploring a variety of methods for engaging Holy Scripture. Each of the five sessions will include a quiet time for reflecting on the Gospel lesson for the Sundays in Lent, drawn from the lectionary of the Book of Common Prayer. Numerous models for Bible study will be offered in Appendix C.
To assist us in persevering along the way, essential tools for this journey will be recommended: prayer, study, and action. These three tools are time-tested methods for keeping ourselves spiritually healthy, not only for our own sake, but for the sake of those with whom we travel, as well as those we may encounter along the way. Reflections intended to expand our understanding of these tools and how we might utilize them are provided within this resource.
The last session will offer participants an opportunity to continue to meet as Spiritual Journey Groups after this Lenten program has concluded. Suggested guidelines for these meetings are found in Appendix F.
Encouraged by the stories we have heard, and equipped with the tools necessary for this journey, our awareness of God’s presence among us will increase. It is then that we will be ready to invite others to join us on this journey. It is then that we will be prepared to fulfill the mission of the Church, “to restore all people to unity with God and each other in Christ.”

The three tools for the journey; prayer, study and action, are an essential piece of this study. As we have discussed here before, healthy congregations do evangelism naturally. One way to keep ourselves healthy is to incorporate a balance of these three areas in our daily disciplines.

The spiritual autobiography component is intended to help us all become more aware of God moving through our lives, while at the same time helping us become more comfortable with telling our stories.

Telling stories is an essential part of evangelism in today's world. Our own personal experiences of God are a very important element of the spiritual conversations we will have with those who are outside the Church.

This study is intended to be simple to use. A Facilitator's Guide is included. A Spanish version is being prepared, and will be available before the beginning of Lent.

There will be a limited number of booklets printed, which you will be able to order through Episcopal Books and Resources within the next few days. There will be shipping and handling costs involved if you order the printed version, so I highly recommend that you download this study for free, and make your own copies.

May we observe a Holy Lent, resulting in abundant Easter joy.

T.

Posted by Terry Martin

**
This is the material we'll be using during Lent.
I do have some copies, or you can get the pdf. online and make your own copy.

See you Friday :)

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A Lamp or a Lifeboat, Or a Ladder

nobody@vox.com(dreaminginthedeepsouth) — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 21:19:43 -0800

Cranes-600

Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder.
Help someone's soul heal.
Walk out of your house like a shepherd.

-Rumi

[cross posted to "Alive on All Channels"]

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... The Less You Feel At Home ....

nobody@vox.com(dreaminginthedeepsouth) — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 21:15:51 -0800

W.eugene.smith.walk

Ego is like a room of your own, a room with a view with the temperature and the smells and the music that you like. You want it your own way. You'd just like to have a little peace, you'd like to have a little happiness, you know, just "gimme a break."

But the more you think that way, the more you try to get life to come out so that it will always suit you, the more your fear of other people and what's outside your room grows. Rather than becoming more relaxed, you start pulling down the shades and locking the door. When you do go out, you find the experience more and more unsettling and disagreeable. You become touchier, more fearful, more irritable than ever. The more you try to get it your way, the less you feel at home.

~ Pema Chodron, Start Where You Are

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Listening

What is the deep listening? Sama is
a greeting from the secret ones inside

the heart, a letter. The branches of
your intelligence grow new leaves in

the wind of this listening. The body
reaches a peace. Rooster sound comes,

reminding you of your love for dawn.
The reed flute and the singer's lips:

the knack of how spirit breathes into
us becomes as simple and ordinary as

eating and drinking. The dead rise with
the pleasure of listening. If someone

can't hear a trumpet melody, sprinkle
dirt on his head and declare him dead.

Listen, and feel the beauty of your
separation, the unsayable absence.

There's a moon inside every human being.
Learn to be companions with it. Give

more of your life to this listening. as
brightness is to time, so you are to

the one who talks to the deep ear in
your chest. I should sell my tongue

and buy a thousand ears when that
one steps near and begins to speak.

Rumi

**
I've spent the week this week freaked out about money. Me and the rest of the world.
[I'd hate to be out of step with the times.]

"I'll be homeless," think I -- "I'll lose all my stuff, I'll drift about with nowhere to go, I'll be humiliated, hated etc." My panicked thinking is all a fantasy, my ego, my 'gimme a break' playing with itself, trying to build itself up, tear itself down, have it all laid out and certain in advance. I'm afraid of not having MY life be the way I want it to be. It's all about me -- me! It's a feast of selfishness! I'm just afraid because I caught fear from all the fear being sold wholesale right now. I caught a fear virus. So many people losing their jobs, so many old structures being torn away.

And then I think, "What the hell is wrong with me ?" I moved to NYC in the 1970s in the middle of a terrible recession when NYC was bankrupt. The city was filthy and dangerous. I had a wonderful time, met wonderful people, was never out of work, never lacked for anything. I've hitchhiked in third world countries, been totally broke, and I've always pulled through, always learned , moved forward, survived. This dread of the future is a bunch of crap.

Is an 'economic downturn' a surprise ? No. Some of us have seen this coming for years, and like the prophets of the Hebrew Scriptures , we've watched this slow-motion train wreck of a post-20th century endgame , feeling frustrated and helpless. Watching the natural consequences of our 'way of life' is sad, but not surprising. I'm taking a news hiatus for now and reminding myself of Buddhist and Yogic precepts. I'm reminding myself to be grateful, to live out of the love and creativity that I have fostered within my own life over decades. I'm reminding myself that the world is as I see it, that I have a lot to contribute, that I can help.

I'm brushing up on my Qi Gong.

What will happen ? Who knows? "Start from where you are" is the commonsense advice that we get from the first Yoga Sutra. I think that's doable. I plan to practice staying in present time. I plan to practice staying conscious in this strange time. Yoga, after all, IS 'practice.' It's not the endgame, but the journey; the light the spark the inner life of our world and of us.

My oldest son just called me. He's on his way to NYC to pick up some freelance work and live by his wits in the city. He was very lucky last time he was there. Go , kid! Don't be afraid of anything !

I couldn't hear him very well on the phone... could he have said, "I've got to go right now ! I'm off to a photo shoot involving Playboy Bunnys." ? ???

*
link
[Whiskey River]

"Very soon we will realize that one practice we have to develop is the practice of forgiveness. We'll see how key that practice is because we'll start to notice how unforgiving we really are. We'll notice the tremendous grudges we have been holding for a long time : grudges against ourselves for being the dopes that we are, grudges against other people for doing the many, many things that they've done to hurt us, and grudges against the world for being so stupid, hurtful, violent, and disappointing. We realize how many grudges we have and how absolutely unforgiving we are. We begin to realize that unforgiving blocks us, stops us in our tracks, like a big, thick, double-bolted door to the heart. We can't do anything until we open up that door, and opening up that door is the practice of forgiveness."

- Norman Fischer

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Moral Distress

nobody@vox.com(dreaminginthedeepsouth) — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 17:01:31 -0800

SantaRosaBeach95#22

February 6, 2009

Doctor and Patient

When Doctors and Nurses Can’t Do the Right Thing

By PAULINE W. CHEN, M.D.

Last month, a physician who serves as an ethics consultant told me about a growing concern in her hospital. Doctors and nurses “feel trapped,” she said, by the competing demands of administrators, insurance companies, lawyers, patients’ families and even one another. “And they are forced to compromise on what they believe is right for patients.”

She called the problem “moral distress.”

Since that discussion, I have not been able to stop noticing moral distress.

Recently, for instance, I visited one of my closest friends, a brilliant and articulate nurse whom I’ll call Mary. During the years that we worked together, I learned that Mary’s assessments of different clinical situations were nearly always correct. But I also noticed that over time, she would often resort to enigmatic and noncommittal statements when expressing her opinions to doctors and supervisors.

Soon after we met, for example, Mary began taking care of a transplant patient admitted with an infected abdominal hernia repair. By the time I became one of the residents on this patient’s surgical team, he had lived in the I.C.U. for a month and his abdominal wall, or what was left of it, had become a beehive of festering bacterial pockets.

One morning, after yet another attempt in the operating room to clear the infected pockets, Mary pulled me aside. “How much can a person take?” she asked. Over the next few days, Mary posed the same question to the rest of the surgical team.

When it finally became clear that no one on the team was acknowledging her concerns, Mary’s question changed. If a doctor asked her to prepare the patient for yet another trip to the O.R., she would ask back, “What do you want me to do?”

Or she would reply, “Say that again?”

Or she would walk away, her response trailing behind. “O - kay.”

Eventually, Mary stopped answering at all. She simply went about her job in the most perfunctory of ways, and her usually bright patter turned flat.

I finally asked her what was wrong.

“If I say something, I get into trouble,” she explained, looking up from her charting work. “Doctors think I am out of line, and I get warnings from my superiors about being unprofessional. But if I don’t say anything, I’m afraid that the patient might suffer.”

Her gaze drifted over to our patient. “What can I do?” she asked.

Moral distress — knowing what is ethically appropriate but being unable to act on it because of obstacles inherent in a situation — was first described in 1984 in a book on nursing ethics. Subsequent researchers focused primarily on the experiences of nurses and found that those who suffered from moral distress often became reluctant to interact with patients and other providers. In one recent study, 15 percent of nurses left their jobs because of moral distress.

It now appears that doctors — caught between obligations to patients and the demands of insurance companies, administrators and even, occasionally, patients’ families — are feeling increasingly “trapped” and unable to do what they believe is ethically right. Researchers from the University of Virginia recently studied I.C.U. physicians and nurses and found that while doctors on average are less frustrated than nurses, they can also suffer from intense moral distress.

This finding doesn’t surprise me. It is profoundly disheartening to haggle with disembodied voices over the phone over insurance approval for operations to remove cancers, to struggle to do everything that should be done for the rising numbers of patients a single doctor must see, and to follow the wishes of estranged relatives who swoop into the hospital during the last days of life and demand aggressive treatment.

What can we do?

I spoke with Ann B. Hamric, a registered nurse and the lead author of the study on I.C.U. physicians and nurses.

“There are many different reasons why a clinician may feel that he or she is not able to do the ethically appropriate thing,” Dr. Hamric said over the phone. “A lot of the reasons for moral distress come from the environments where we work. Are we working as respectful partners or are we afraid? Doctors feel that the risk managers or the lawyers are telling them what they can and cannot do for patients, and that affects physicians.”

We discussed the implications of moral distress for the current nursing shortage and the impending primary care shortage. I asked her if there might be some way to change the work environment.

“Part of what we have to do,” Dr. Hamric answered, “is to start recognizing moral distress and deliberately talking about it in health care settings. Otherwise, we will fail to recognize the damage to the integrity of the provider. We can’t expect people to work in this kind of highly intense, emotional, intimate space and then expect them to tolerate threats to their professional integrity.”

She added, “No one’s going to stay otherwise. It’s just too heartbreaking.”

Join the discussion on the Well blog, “Medicine and Moral Distress”

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BEHIND THE SILENCE... Confessions of a porcelain-painter artist

nobody@vox.com(Aszalos Family Art) — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 14:29:11 -0800

Dear Everybody,

I am Andrea Angelika Aszalós, writer of the novel

BEHIND THE SILENCE... Confessions of a porcelain-painter artist (published by Bastogi - 2008 - Italy) and I am presenting on this Blog site a very important part of my life: my Mother's, Éva Aszalós and my Sister's, Hajnalka Aszalós', works of art of porcelain-painting, and the oil paintings of my Mother. Synopsis of the novel and link to the story of the Moonlight and the Eosin glaze follow below

My mother and my sister are porcelain-painter artists and have made many sacrifices so that could be born that singular world that I am presenting on this blog-site to you. For these ”sacrifices” and struggles for the survival that are behind this World of Beauty, I have written the novel by the title ”Behind the Silence”, which has been published in June 2008 by an Italian publishing house.

I recommend the Synopsis of this revealing Novel and every world of my letter with all of my belief in the moral force, to your attention and to the attention of everybody who has love in their heart and who are thirsting for the rarely appearing pure mirror of the naked truth about a world that is not allowed to seen by some interests.

Artistic Album of the Familiar Collection

Published in November 2009

The Artistic Album, that includes 148 pages, and many photographs about the Familiar Collection, is published in English and in Italian languages in this month (november 2009) thanks to a sponsors who has financed the edition in change for three beautiful works of arts, and I am so gald to can share it with you as for my family it is a very great gift from life and from God!

Over presenting the works of art of porcelain-painting, it introduces also my Mother's and my Sister's oil paintings, some biographical informations about my Mother's artstic career and important words about Feelings and Thoughts regarding some of the works of art of the Familiar Collection. ... and of course through the synopis of my novel "Behind the Silence... Confessions of a porcelain-painter artist" it brings closer to You and to the Readers of this marvellous book including so many miracles, the atmosphere in which these talkative works of art had been born.

It will be possible to order this beautiful Album before this Christmas in Italian book-shops, and from my family as well, and I am so glad to can share it with you.

With much love:
Angelika & Family

About three years ago I promised my mother that a day I would take a pen, and write down the situations, that so many times has crossed our life - and also in themselves could be material of a sketch or a short story - and which are derived from my mother's and my sister's rare profession and from the strange social and "art-political" atmosphere, by which is characterized this little country. At that time I didn’t thought that this "moment" would come so early, and could become pressing for our life.

Horse among poppies

I can present on this site only a little part of the work of a whole life, and so the Familiar Collection made up in the long years, which contains more than 700 works of art. Among these works of art that has been being internationally signed on the world for more than 10 years, there are many irreplaceable items, presented at that time also in the National Museum of the Applied Arts of Budapest.

Photos of the art-works of the Aszalós Porcelain's Collection

Behind the Silence... Confessions of a porcelain-painter artist

The novel that I have written ( Behind the Silence… ) elaborating real events, is based on documents and correspondences, and touching some personalities of huge influence, presents, through my Mother’s life, the defenceless situation of the contemporary artists of our days for the economic policy, and how do the fights of interests, arising from this, ruin the life of some wonderful artists and persons.

For the last years’ happenings neither for moral points of view nor for other reasons there was no other choice for my family but to disclose to the World all that things that my family had to live through this singular and rare field of art in the peculiar social and ”art-political” atmosphere that characterize Hungary. …and so to describe all those things that are hidden Behind the Silence.

Moonlight

The events written in my novel affect my family’s life even today in a very hard way and I am recommending to your attention the story of the Moonlight glaze – so the story of the pair of the world-famous Eosin glaze, that my Mother after 100 years discovered again and whose technology, just like by the Zsolnay family at that time, also by my Family is kept under a secret.
See more details about the Moonlight-glaze's importance and story :

Moonlight and the Eosin - Paralells and History,

In my Family's collection there are included also the works of art belonging to the category of the art treasures, made with the technolgy of the ”Moonlilght” glaze (so with the pair of the technology of the world-famous Eosin glaze that the inheritor factury of the Zsolnay manufactury of one hundred years ago, by today can’t reproduce in its originally form).

I am presenting on this blog also some of the photo-documents belonging to our references beside the titles of the chapters of ma novel that you can read below.

Unfortunately by today my mother has been suffering in a serious, incurable auto-immune disease for four years, and she is kept in life by very hard medicines, and so, also due to this fact, many things in her life have a deeper meaning for her.

Many Thanks for your attention and for your comments on a Whole Life's Work filled with heart, lived with the passion of an Artist who has given her life entirely to her work and to her loved Ones:

Andrea Angelika Aszalós Write to me to My e-mail

Synopsis of the novel Behind the Silence, follows below

Message to a kind friend: For a while I can't receive all of my e-mails! I thank you if you try to contact; me in an other way !!

PHOTOGRAPHS & ARTISTIC ALBUM of the Aszalós Porcelains

Words of Éva Aszalós:

I believe that God cares for Everyone and will care for, and think also to us, to my

dear family!

Synopsis of

Behind the Silence…

Confessions of a porcelain-painter artist.

Behind the Silence... Confessions of a porcelain-painter artist

My novel, which I have written on the basis of documents, correspondences and my mother’s memories, stands on a lived life’s real events.

It’s about my mother, about a beautiful, but by today broken person’s feelings, of a peculiar lot, and about the events hiding behind them. In the mirror of these, I show how the Politics – demanding part also from the values of Art – make impossible and sentence to death a family in the country of a tragically incompatible nation with its own sons. Through the peculiarities of the Hungarian society’s different strata, I present the contemporary art’s position in our time; the condition of the contemporary artists, who are at the mercy of the ”Fews’ interests”; and the invisible court of law, that shutters some wonderful artists’ life, annihilating them in their human quality. Within the contemporary art, I introduce my readers into that rare branche of Art, on which nearly three-hundred years ago emperors and bishops spent enormous wealths, and which even now is famous for its prestige all over the world: in the unbelievably colourful World of the Porcelains, full of intrigues, which is honoured by the name „White gold”;.

My novel, as I’ve written, is about my mother, about a delicate woman’s tempestuous course of life full of vicissitudes, whom God has given a present to, with some very exceptional endowements, and filled her heart with many love, belief and spiritual force, so that she could struggle against the dams ruining with slow death of a soured society by its own poison. Her singular sensitivity and the special field of art where her unusual skill has carried her, made her know and see many human faces, which meetings has brought in her life many pleasure, but also many suffering.

In one of the highland villages of a strange and formerly leggendary nation, settled in the Center of Europe not much more than one-thousand years ago, is born in the january of 1956, in the year of the revolution ended in massacre, that young girl, who is forced by her environment to escape already when she is a child, at hardly thirteen years old, so that she could ”arrive” as far as possible from the reality which has conducted her family to tragedy that cost her mother’s life. For her mother’s desire expressed in her ultimate letter, she is raised further on, in a small town at her uncle, where she has to face many cruelty alone. Notwithstanding, this town brings her also those meetings of her life, which give her a spiritual force which seems invincible, and a belief which doesn’t know impossible, for her further struggles. Two loves, lived for a life, carry her on in a two-faced world’s maze: the Porcelain-pinting, whose art she acquire in this place, and a strangely ”double-souled” Man, with whom she forms the most holy bond, and founds a family. Her first daughter, Hajnalka is born here, just like her desire, becoming into decision in her soul, to breake with her past again and definitively.

She moves into the beautifully situated Szeged, in the Great Hungarian Plain’s loveliest town, famous for its cultural life and for the high standard of the musical education, so that she could give to her children everithing that she missed in her youth. Andrea, her second child is born here, and she is seduced by an other very nice profession, by the fashion, which she start in with the same enthusiasm and pleasure, with which at that time she did the painting of pictures and porcelains. After the alternation of relatively balanced and tempestuous periods, after successes and enormous failure at the end, finally she returns to the Porcelain-painting, to that her dream which has been always living in her. The financial conditions to found an independent porcelain-painter studio are given to her only by this time.

Into the secrets of this splendid craft, which preservs tradition, but still includes in itself renewal, she introduces her first-born child, Hajnalka, and in few years is born a promising, fabulous and rich world by their hands. Spellbound by the Secessionist style, she works out colours which, with their profundity and peculiar light-refraction, are entirely unique on the world, and in the years, she discovers the producition-method of the world-famed glaze named Eozin, which has been being kept as secret since one hundred years, and to which she gives the name of Moonlight (Holdfény) because of its mysterious glittering of metallic lustre, shining in the most beatiful tints of the green colour, and for her respect for Vilmos Zsolnay.

She has high hopes for the porcelain-painting: she feels from the ”beginning” that it means for her the ultimate possibility of put in order her daughters’ and her own life. And she doesn’t think that, with the beautiul craft, she is happened in a ”viper’s nest” climbing until the highest social strata, which is invisible, far and maybe incredible for many people, but for her is inevitable, mortal and mortally real. Her Mother-country, this country unable to restore itself to health maybe for ever, whose history was full of vicissitudes, cause her more and more disappointment. In other form: slipped into more decorated garment, concealed behind new faces’ new masks, but she meets the same forces which has exiled her from the little highland village.

Under the burden of an incurable disease, forming in her meanwhile, and because of the glacial air of the shutting doors’ wind, her great belief and spiritual force leave her more and more.

The last year’s struggles mean for her, life or death in the real meaning of the word.

Written and translated by: Andrea Angelika Aszalós Phone: + 36 20 311 3800

Published by Bastogi Editrice Italiana in June of 2008

Chapters and some of the Photo-documentations:

The Tragedy ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The years of Kalocsa: two Loves born to living for a life,,,,,,

A new chapter in my life

The town of Szeged and my second-born child, Ancsa ,,,,,,

Love: Redemption or Cross ,,,,,,,,

The dream and the reality

The limits of the Nature ,,,,,,,

The Lot sealed ,,,,,,,

A wrong decision and their consequences ……

Foundation of a porcelain-painter studio …

Exposition in the Embassy of the Republic of Hungary, in Vienna …

Ray of hope

Exclusive Gallery of the Aszalós Porcelains …….........

”The_Moonlight” …………

Shine and tears

A beautiful porcelain exposition at the Days of Szeged and the visit of the delegation

of the government …………..

A tiny fruit of the struggle of power: the Prize of ”Honoured artisan-artist’s” of the County

of Csongrád …………………………………………………………………………

The Prize of the ”Honoured artisan-artist’s of Hungary”…………………………….....................................................

Calculations

My life on the ”chemist’s scales” of my husband …………

Touching of the Past ………………

The fatal contract …………………………

A mysterious man or fight for the life ……….

Gift from a person wasn’t known ………

The hand of God ……

The human dignity …

Refusal and Hope ……

A morsel for the Survival !

I offer the works of my life ……

The Madam Judit

An old dear acquaintance of mine ……

An art-patron billionaire in Hungary ………

Cry for help ………………

The Support …………

Questions and answeres ……

The Mask thrown ……

The telephone-call at late in the evening ……

The fight of the Billions ……

The Christmas saying good-bye …........

Memories from the Past

Some present thrown away and some other which cannot be taken away ….......

Dietro il Silenzio...Confessione di un'artista di pittura di porcellane - INTERNET_BOOK_SHOP. it

Horse among poppies

Death of Christ

"One builds sand-castle on the shore only if he or she believes that waves can be domesticated."

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Micro-Yoga for the Busy Woman

nobody@vox.com(dreaminginthedeepsouth) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 22:06:31 -0800

Jean-Yves-Lemoigne-Photography-36connection

Marian Van Eyk McCain

8 new, healthy habits that add no extra time to your day

Like most successful women, you probably seek ways to stay healthy, neutralize stress, maintain high energy levels, keep a positive outlook - all that good stuff.

When something new works well, you try to incorporate it into your life. Sometimes, you are successful. But sometimes, disappointingly, it doesn't stick. Then you feel discouraged and your self-esteem drops a notch.

The mini-exercises I have taught people in my Wellness classes have always had a high rate of long-term success, because I discovered a trick to encourage stickability. In encouraging new pieces of behaviour to become permanent, useful habits, the main technique I use employs what I call 'autocues'.

What is an autocue? We all create them. Ask anyone on the contraceptive pill how she first made sure to take it every day. Chances are, she paired it with an existing, well-established habit, like brushing her teeth. Doing one action reminded her to do the other. That's an autocue. As Pavlov discovered, linking two actions can cause the brain to make permanent associations. So it is possible to decide on a new behaviour and then look for a spot in our daily routine where we can insert it. However, you can also reverse the procedure. In other words, look for the routine things you do that cry out to be used as autocues and then fit in a healthy activity that matches really well. That is what I am suggesting here: tailoring the habit to fit the slot.

Here are eight quick, easy and beneficial activities you can try incorporating into your day. Each is aimed at improving health or relieving stress in some small way, and comes paired with its own, ready-made autocue. What's more, they use up virtually no extra time at all, since most of them make use of the 'wasted' moments you spend waiting for something else to happen:.

1. The Red Light Shrug
When we are busy, our shoulders tend to become tired and tense. Even more so when we are driving, especially in city traffic. That is why a shoulder rub feels so good. Though you may be several hours away from a shoulder rub, you can still take the tension off.
Your autocue is the red traffic light.

If you are driving, take both hands off the wheel as you come to a stop, wiggle them a bit, then let them rest loosely in your lap. Raise your shoulders way up to your ears in an exaggerated shrug. Hold for a few seconds. Then let go, with a deep sigh, and feel your shoulders relax. Say the word “RELAX” out loud. Do it again, if the light has not yet turned green. (As a pedestrian, you can adapt this exercise -depending on what you are carrying- but you may need to say 'relax' silently so nobody thinks you're crazy).

Do this at every red light for a week and you will soon find that it becomes a habit. Eventually, your automatic response to a red traffic signal is to relax - wonderful!

2. The Supermarket Relaxation
You are standing in the checkout line. Your purchases are on the counter. There is nothing to do but wait. Frustrating? No, it's an opportunity.

Shake one hand and arm slightly. Allow the hand and arm to relax. Let them dangle limply at your side. Now the other hand and arm. Let them get really relaxed and heavy.
Relax your tummy muscles.
Relax your jaw.
Keep going, around your body, relaxing every muscle except the ones you are using to stand up. (We don’t want you falling in a limp heap and frightening other customers) The longer you wait, the more relaxed you get. One student told me "I really love it, now, when someone needs a price check!"

3. The Lift Breath
You have pressed the button. The lighted arrow is your visual cue. Now take a deep breath, breathing from your abdomen, rather than high up in your chest. Let the breath out slowly, relaxing as you do it. And another slow, deep breath in - and out, visualizing tension draining from you with each 'out' breath. Do this till the door opens.

Inside the lift, if you are going down, visualize all the little oxygen molecules flowing out from your heart through the rest of your body, giving you lots of springy energy. If you are going up, imagine all those oxygen molecules flowing upwards to nourish your brain, bringing calm, creativity and clear thinking. Visualizing things helps them to happen.

(Oh and by the way it works for escalators too – even better).

The next two exercises do take a little extra time, but still less than a minute each. And they make use of something we cannot avoid doing - visiting the loo.

4. The Pee Squeeze
Each time you finish peeing, stay seated and do ten to twenty squeezes of the muscles around your vagina. This, as I'm sure you already know, is the 'Kegel' exercise that keeps the pelvic floor flexible, strengthens it in pregnancy and helps it return to normal after birth. It also enhances your ability to bring sexual pleasure to a male partner.

If you are not sure how to squeeze those muscles, the easiest way to learn is to try stopping the flow in the middle of urinating. Don’t do that regularly though, once you have learned the squeeze. You can check you are doing it right by putting a finger in your vagina and feeling it being squeezed. (Then you'll see why guys like it).

5. The Cubicle Stretch and Centre
Before you leave the toilet cubicle (or the bathroom, if you are at home), stretch. Just once. Like a cat, as stretchy as you can. Yawn. Then close your eyes. And simply stand there, for a few seconds, with your eyes closed. If you are in a busy workplace, it may be the only time you are totally alone and out of reach of the phone.

With eyes closed, just centre yourself. Bring your awareness to the present moment, the stillness of your body and the awareness of your breath. That’s all. Just a few seconds.

6. The Mirror Stroke
We all need what the psychiatrist, Eric Berne, called 'strokes'. Appreciation from people. Recognition. Knowing we are liked and approved of and valued. We also need to appreciate, like and value ourselves, warts and all.

You know that moment between finishing your hand-washing and going to the dryer or towel, when you usually glance in the mirror? Well use it. Smile at the face that looks back at you. Or wink. Or wave. Let her know she is OK. If there's anyone around and you feel silly, just make eye contact with her and hold it a moment. Beam her a telepathic message that says "I love you, you’re doing fine." (Other people will think you are just checking for blackheads). You can smile at the people too, if you like. Spread the good energy around.

7. The 'On Hold' Meditation
As you know, meditation is good for you – body and soul – and if practiced regularly, can make you a calmer, nicer, less reactive person. Here's a mini-meditation that fits perfectly into those seemingly endless moments while you wait on the telephone. Your autocue is being asked to hold (or the start of that awful, tinny music they make you to listen to over and over again).
As soon as you are put 'on hold', close your eyes and put your thoughts 'on hold' too. Become aware of your breathing. Stay focused on nothing except the sensation of the air flowing in and out of your nostrils. As soon as a thought comes into your mind, just notice it and let it go again, without following it. Your goal is not to think at all but instead to tune out from the ever-chattering-mind and discover the eternal, spacious calmness that lies behind it.

When your party finally answers, open your eyes and take a deep breath before you respond.
The important thing about meditation is learning to bypass thoughts. Even if the whole exercise only lasts a minute and a half, if you have successfully managed to ignore even just one thought, that's great!

8. The Hawaiian Shower
Nourish your soul, and turn the last sixty seconds of every shower into a vacation on Kauai, just by using your powers of imagination. For that final rinse off, cool the water slightly, then close your eyes and visualize yourself standing under a beautiful, mountain waterfall, surrounded by glistening ferns. Empty your mind of thoughts. Imagine that the top of your head is open and that the water is pouring right through you, body and mind, washing out all tension, all worries, all pain.

There you are:

1. The Red Light Shrug
2. The Supermarket Relaxation
3. The Lift Breath
4. The Pee Squeeze
5. The Cubicle Stretch and Centre
6. The Mirror Stroke
7. The 'On Hold' Meditation
8. The Hawaiian Shower

These are your 8 new, tiny, healthy, helpful habits, with autocues that are guaranteed to fix them in position, and which take virtually no time out of your day. When did you ever see a better deal? And now you have the idea, you can create more, if you want to, out of those odd spots of unused time. Find the spot, insert a new habit that fits - and it’s yours to keep. Enjoy!

Marian Van Eyk McCain is a psychologist and a free-lance writer who has published articles on a wide range of topics, from women's health and spirituality to organic growing and alternative technology. She is the author of Transformation through Menopause (Bergin & Garvey, 1991), ELDERWOMAN: Reap the wisdom, feel the power, embrace the joy (Findhorn Press 2002) and The Lilypad List: 7 steps to the simple life, (Findhorn Press, 2004). You can contact Marian through her website at www.elderwoman.org

Listed In: ooffoo laureate, women and health, lifestyle

Created on: 20/12/2008

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